There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
