i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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