I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
