I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
