i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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