eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
