why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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