i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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