Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
