I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
