i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
