You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
