just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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