the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When did angry sex become our thing?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
