well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He shit in the fireplace
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
