My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
