I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Rumble strips road head = magical
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
