My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
