ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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