I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
