Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
