she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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