his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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