She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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