is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
