if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
