Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
