im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
