Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
