I bet he comes in French.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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