I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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