bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
