i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
