i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
