I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
