I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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