what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My cat gives me a boner
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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