So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
