I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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