wrigley field is MILF paradise
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
