some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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