That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
