shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
