oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
