She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
