i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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