I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
