i wish peter jackson would direct porn
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
