so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
