fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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