What did we do last night that was yellow?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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